ONLY A TEN.

When we were in Bahasa Melayu Kerjaya class my lecturer asked each female student to come up with a number for wang hantaran (dowry) that we ought to have from our future husband. Lucky me Alhamdulillah I wasn’t the first to answer so I’ve got a few seconds to juggle some lofty numbers in my head haha.

At last I answered.

“Ikut kemampuan lelaki saya cikgu.”

Cikgu replied, “Tak, oh tak, sekarang sila ketepikan kemampuan lelaki. Kamu nak letak berapa? 10? Lebih dari 10? Atau kurang dari 10?”

Then I reluctantly said “Kurang dari sepuluh kot”.

Heh.

……….

Well clearly in Malay custom we have been raised to produce a pile of RM to spend on our wedding. The receptions’ food catering itself usually costs the bride or the bride’s family at least a ten. And with the number comes only the selected minimum guests- especially when we are dealing with some high class food services. Not to mention the fancy pelamin (the wedding stage), bilik pengantin (the wedding room), fresh lilies and reuziz, the 7 dulangs of hantaran consisting items nothing lesser than Jimmy Choo, extravagant wedding favours, talented photographers, dresses, hand bouquet, and the list goes in and on.

Seriously? Who okayed this? Haha.

So back to the topic. the concept of walimat in the eyes of Islam.

All Muslims, regardless of whatever colour, race and etc you are subscribed into- you are all encouraged to marry. Yes. This so-called puritanic religion asks us to marry a person we like (or our papa likes). Sunnah kot. So when you have the ability to marry, and clearly you’ve got a person suitable enough to be your life partner and the parent to the children you’re going to make, then, the Prophet encourages you to get married. Or in other words-nikah.

Okay, we all know that in Islam we must spread the solemnization news to people so that people know that you guys are legally married, to avoid turmoil etc. Thus, the walimah.

In Islam, the walimah is aimed to be the channel to spread the news about the nikah, and in addition to it, we feed people as an act of charity. See. The points are very clear-cut. We hold this thing to spread the happy news and to feed people.

But.

What’s with the whole Malay thingy?

The bling-er the walimah, the better it gets? The higher the dowry the educated-er the bride?

People, are we that gullible?
Please don't get me wrong. I love my language, I love my culture. My tonic is budu kot! But, it is some aspects of this culture that allows some unislamic practices diffuse into it. Ironically right back to a famous Malay proverb kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga. Gitteww! 

We need to change this mindset. Yes we really do. The status of the money spent on unnecessary things such as super cool pelamin or fancy favours need to be thrice-checked. Is it worth it? Do we really need this? Are we that financially equipped to have those things on our wedding? And on top of that, what is the REAL PURPOSE of the whole walimah?

Whatever answers you may get, please bear in mind that the Prophet prohibits us from doing any waste on earth- not in everyday, not in any special day. And, do not make money as A MAJOR BARRIER for us in getting married. If you have it little, do it cutely. If you have it big, do it as you please. Last but not least, always remember that it is not the high class wedding receptions that we aim for, the barakah in the marriage later instead claims for a better will. (quoted from future bro-in-law Deli.) After all, when those people age, none of them would remember your fabulous wedding favours pon. HAHA.

……….      

p/s: Please do not presume that we Malays love to waste. We eat the bunga telor sampai kentut whaaaaatt??

p/p/s: Kakak's wedding prep is still in progress. Whoever you might be, please make du'a for the whole thing to come out smooth and blessed. Ameen! =)

    

The differences between a good friend and a best friend

1-      A good friend keeps quiet when she sees a chili chunk in between your teeth to avoid being offensive to you. A best friend laughs at you and picks the chili chunk on your rotten teeth with her bare hand to avoid you from being laughed at by others.

2-      A good friend keeps quiet about the notes for tomorrow’s finals she has got in a midnight to avoid from waking you up in your tight sleep. A best friend wakes you up like a brute even at 3 in the morning to share with you her notes.

3-      A good friend keeps quiet when she sees you growling for food because she has no good food to give you. A best friend would share with you her last bite of stupid bread and sweets to ease your stomach.

HA-HA!

4-      A good friend keeps quiet when you are mourning for she does not want to disturb you. A best friend already holds a hoe to bury the asshole who made you cry.

5-      A good friend tells everything about your disease to people to make them sympathy. A best friend, though she knows all of your shitty flaws, keeps her mouth shut from telling others any of your lacks and on top of that, she joyfully lives with your crap!

6-      A friend, remains a friend in dunya. Whereas a best friend remains a best friend until hereafter.

     

     =) 

A PLAN.

Salam all.

So haha. I’m back.

Things are going quite smoothly. Kakak is going to get married about 8 months from now insyaAllah so I’m a bit nervous hewhew.

We’ve got Deli’s family coming over to our little crib last week. Quite a sudden visit though. By the way, I’m planning to get Kakak a very simple yet nice dessert bar for her wedding and now that she knows, she’s so annoyingly happy and even said ‘okay now I’ve got 7 sponsors for my wedding HA-HA!’ I envy Kakak she got an undeniably cute and generous sister heh.

Whatever. Okay so while I was browsing for some ideas, I found some really elegant dessert bars (some call it candy buffet table) that might suit my budget, which is you know.. kind of you know- not quite ravishing. Haha. At first I was thinking of doing hand-made chocolate fondue with strawberries and bananas but since it would cost me to rob the bank, I had to cancel it. Sobs. I was sad but that lasted until I sorted out the day with Google. Thanks to Technologies we have today. *tepuk tangan sambil geleng-geleng kapala.

Some ideas are brilliant. Some are stupid. So I mix up both and came up with some simple yet gorgeous alternatives. Well, the ideas are in my head so I can’t pull them out for you right now but some of them might be more or less the same like ziz:

Most importantly I want to include some of her all-time favourite tidbits such as the akok, Portuguese egg tarts, red velvet cuppies and tuna sandwiches.

akok!

   

 She’s going to be crazy when she sees those stuffs I know hehe. Then I’m going to décor some fresh colourful daisies as the centerpiece decor and some little marshmallows to lessen the table’s hue. Some green apples in a jar, some photos of her and Deli-cious, some cute paper flags and things liddat. Aww so cute! Got to start saving from now.

Here’s some more.

Say if you come up with some other budget-y alternatives that are less expensive, please drop your thoughts below. You know now they have invented this unique feature called comment box. -.-‘ 

something looks pinky. guess what.

so vintage and.. English.

macaroons anyone?

gulp!

Can't wait to make this for Kakak's wedding. I know it wouldn't actually look like any of these professionally-made buffet tables. But anyhow, I'm going to try my best to make my cheesy sister happy. She's the only sibling I have anyway. Got to do what a sister does best.

To Deli-cious, you are a step closer to getting this crazy lady. Stand by her through thick and thin. May God ease your way. :)

Salam.